The Druid went to his oak grove to pray.
He said, "Unseen gods, they rule us ev'ry day.
So I only bow before an oak tree
And I don't believe in idolatry."
He had the word, the word, he knew he had the word,
The word, the word, the true and only word
He had the word, the word, the true and only word,
He knew he had the word.
The heathen kneeled before a graven god.
He said: "Some people certainly are odd;
They believe in spirits who live in a tree
And don't pray to gods that you and I can see."
The astrologer looked high up into the sky.
He said, "The stars will tell if you live or die
The zodiac tells us what we must know:
How the planets rule us, down here below."
The phrenologist felt the bumps upon my head.
He said, "Heads like yours can be so easily read.
I feel every little dip and bump
And learn about you from every lump."
The alchemist sought the great philospher's stone.
He said, "I'll make gold on my very own;
I'll burn phlogiston in a magic pyre
Of earth, of air, of water and of fire."
Old Ptolmey looked up at the shining sun.
He said, "I know just how the heavens are run;
The earth stands still in the midst of the sky
While the sun and stars go circling by."
The psychoanalyst sat behind his patient's couch.
He said, "For this news I certainly will vouch:
You'd be OK, of neurosis rid,
If only your ego would try to love your id."
Now tell me dear friend, after what you've heard,
Are you really so damned frightfully absurd;
Do you have the truth by which we are cured,
Are you the only one who has the word?
Have you the word, the word, oh do you have the word;
The word, the word, the true and only word;
Have you the word, the word, the true and only word;
Oh do you have the word?